Amy speaks the language of love through food. She travels around the world to sample exquisite food in great restaurants. Her kitchen is less a room and more a studio, where the scent of herbs from her own organic garden meets spices from the upscale market. One day, she invited Sally, a friend from yoga class, for a homemade lunch. She crafted a meal with care: a salad with edible flowers, salmon glazed with local honey, bread warm from the oven.
They had a great time and decided to lunch together every week. Sally was thoughtful. Each time she was invited, she arrived with a small gift—a bottle of wine, a candle or a small pot of plant. Yet, a pattern slowly emerged. “This salad would easily cost $8 at Danny’s,” Sally remarked. Another time, she nodded at the salmon. “A $22 dish in a restaurant, I’d guess.” Her well-intentioned gifts began to feel like quiet settlements of an invisible invoice.
For Amy, the joy seeped out of their meals. The love baked into the bread, the patience of growing the vegetables—all were being itemized on an imaginary menu from a local chain restaurant. Soon, the invitations stopped.
Here lies a quiet clash of worldviews. Sally didn’t want to incur debt and operated on a principle of immediate, tangible reciprocity. She paid for what she saw: ingredients and labor – a solid and fair approach. Amy, however, was offering something unseen: the shared moment, the creative expression, the unspoken bond. Sally saw the visible price tag. Amy treasured the invisible worth. The imbalance in how they perceived the exchange caused the connection to fade.
This story highlights a common issue: we often “don’t know what we don’t know.” We see the visible but miss the profound, invisible values at play, leading to unappreciated effort, invisible traps and missed opportunities.
What Matters the Most
In relationships, marriage or work projects, we often see our own effort because it is visible, neglecting the other person’s contribution because it is invisible to us. We are excellent accountants of the visible. We track salaries, prices, and square footage. But what about the invisible ledger? The trust built over years, the joy of shared purpose, the value of quality time spent together and friendship in time of needs?
We often learn this in hindsight. In youth, we might see our parents’ efforts as obligation, their mistakes as failures. Only later, when we become parents ourselves, we perceive the invisible fabric of sacrifice and hope. In careers, a shiny title and a top salary are highly visible. Yet, the invisible factors— the office politics, the lack of autonomy or a mentor’s guidance, a culture that fuels growth, a sense of purpose often determine not just our success, but our fulfillment.
Even “free” has an invisible price. That free information on internet? It often costs time and energy to consume. That free app we download? The cost is often our data and privacy, quietly transformed into a digital asset for someone else. The visible benefit is immediate; the invisible cost is hidden and cumulative.
Our inability to recognize these unseen forces can cost us dearly. Conversely, recognizing them is a superpower. It allows us to appreciate the strength of shared purpose, the wealth of harmonious relationships, and the resilience that comes from community and integrity. These are the invisible foundations of a meaningful life and a thriving business.
Two Types of “Invisibles”
There are two types of “invisibles”. First, what are invisible to us, but visible to others. This is the vast landscape of what “we don’t know we don’t know.” It includes other people’s experiences, insights, networks, and resources that we simply cannot see from our current vantage point.
Second, what are invisible because they are within us, waiting to be discovered. These are our own untapped talents, dormant creativity, deeper passions, and potential paths that are obscured by our own limiting beliefs and routines. They are treasures we hold in our hands but have forgotten how to see.
Many aspiring entrepreneurs, for instance, feel stuck on the visible “lack”: capital, credentials, a ready-made team. While important, these represent a tiny fraction of the creative resources. The vast majority is the invisible, yet potent, resource of imagination, passion, innate talent, and the genuine willingness of others to support a compelling idea.
Every single human creation—a company, a novel, a family tradition—began as something invisible: an idea, a feeling, a spark. The visible world is largely a collection of past invisibles, made visible and real.
A Practical Path
So, how do we train our sight? How do we create from the invisible? It requires two directions of focus.
- Looking Outward is the conscious pursuit of what we know we don’t know. We read books that challenge us. We have conversations with people from different worlds. We seek mentors. This is how we borrow sight, allowing the wisdom of others to illuminate pitfalls and shortcuts, saving us years of trial and error. It’s converting “what others know” into “what we know.”
- Looking Inward is the brave work of self-discovery. It asks quiet but profound questions: Where am I going on autopilot? What old story am I clinging to? What do I truly enjoy doing that I dismiss as trivial? What quiet dream have I been silencing? This is how we uncover our personal invisibles—the talents and callings blocked by our own noise.
From this moment on, let’s practice recognizing both the visible and the invisible. When making a decision, ask: “What is the visible value here? And what, more importantly, is the invisible value I might be missing?” When interacting with others, listen for the unspoken: “What’s the quiet concern, the spark of an idea that’s shyly presented, the underlying desire for recognition?”
Whether in a conversation, a decision, or a moment of gratitude, training ourselves to see the unseen is where genuine creation—in our lives, our work, and our relationships—truly begins. The richest parts of our lives are built not just on what we can count, but on what we can feel, sense, and imagine. Let’s learn to see the unseen.