From the previous article, Everyday Leadership (1/2), we could conclude leadership always leads to change, and change always requires leadership. Inability to change is due to lack of effective leadership. In this article, we will discuss the nature of change and conditions for positive changes.
Why do we want to change in the first place? What’s the benefit of change? The answer is simple. As humans, we didn’t come to earth only to earn a living, to feed ourselves, then to watch ourselves grow old. We came to earth to learn, to grow, to create, and to reach our potential as spiritual beings. This journey is all about change. It requires us to continuously step outside our comfort zone, explore the unknown, and turn the discomfort zone into a comfort zone. Through this expansion, we achieve growth and fulfill life’s purpose.
Two factors motivate people to change. First is a vision, which is often expressed as purpose, mission, dream, or desire to create a better life. Take entrepreneurs as an example. They are willing to invest their money, take risks and work hard to create successful businesses because they are driven by the desire for a better future and the creative process.
Second is a challenge, which is a problem needs to be solved, a difficult situation that makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes, the situation is devastating and we must either change or die. For example, being diagnosed with serious disease due to unhealthy lifestyle or staying in a job we don’t like, which leads to poor job performance and eventual layoff.
What many people don’t recognize is this reality: since all humans came to earth to grow as spiritual being, and change is the requirement for growth, the entire Universe is designed to make us change. This means, either we change proactively by creating the life we want or circumstances will “force” us to change by leaving us no other choice. For this reason, many people have heard of the statement: the only constant in life is change.
If change is inevitable, isn’t learning how to adapt to changes the wisest way to ensure a peaceful and joyful life? Why not float with the current of a river instead of against it? Why not change with circumstance rather than resist it? Ironically, most people don’t think this way. Humans resist changes more than anything else in the world. We have a tendency to self-sabotage.
Why is change difficult? There are several reasons. First is lack of clear vision of the future we want to create. School system has trained us to follow instructions and execute orders instead of using imagination to dream what is possible. Many of us lack the ability to think outside of the box, make decisions, take risks, and take responsibilities for the consequences. Life without the ability to dream and to think independently is like a car without a driver or a direction. Stagnation is the inevitable consequence.
The second reason is fear. We fear changes the same way we fear death. Spiritually speaking, change is a self-reinventing process – death of the old self and birth of an upgraded wiser self. Changing ourselves starts with letting go of current self-identity or who we think we are. This requires detachment to certain existing relationships, titles, achievements, or possessions. Sometimes, this transition is gradual. Other times, it can be dramatic.
The most common type of fear is fear of the unknown. We have a tendency to imagine the worst likely scenario as the consequence of change. What if I fail? What if other people disapprove or judge me negatively? What if I succeed and have to take on more responsibility or change my lifestyle? Subconsciously, we prefer to live in familiar misery instead of the unknown.
The third common but less discussed reason humans resist change is a lack of energy. Many of us invest most energy in activities related to survival or social interactions, with little left on creating changes. To preserve energy, we default on established routines driven by the subconscious mind in a semi-sleeping mode. We previously discussed this in Transforming Fear (1/4). To create changes, we need to remain conscious every step of the way, which requires a lot of energy and is an unfamiliar way of operating to many people.
The fourth reason humans resist change, especially in modern days, is a disconnection with nature and reality. This disconnection causes a loss of resourcefulness, creativity, and adaptability to the external environment. For millions of years, humans have used ingenuity to survive in a harsh environment–extreme climates and lack of resources. Anything we wanted, we had to create them. Our body and mind learned to adapt to what we cannot change. But industrialization built a comfortable environment around us–central heating system, fast transportation, and smart devices. Small children are surrounded by toys created by grown-ups. Almost anything we need is available in the markets. We are used to an environment built to please us instead of we learning to adapt to environment.
The quality of water can best illustrate the magic of adaptability. When water is poured into a cup, it takes on the shape of the cup. When water reaches the ocean, it becomes salt water. When water is used to nourish a plant, it becomes part of the plant. When the plant dies and returns to earth, water rejoins the earth, later becomes rain, river or drinking water.
What’s most amazing about water is no matter its shape, function or state—vapor, liquid or ice–its essence is always H2O. It benefits plants, animals and humans but never changes its true nature. In human terms, that true nature is high moral values and spirit. Water embodies the ultimate characteristics of a conscious leader—wise enough to adapt to circumstances, kind enough to always serve and benefit others, and firm enough to never change her essence and purpose.
Change doesn’t need to be difficult. It is a muscle strengthened by practice. What we need is to stay connected with our hearts, knowing what we want, remaining curious about the unknown, and cultivating a creative mind for problem solving and adaptability. Once we learn how to change, we can ride the wave of life like a master surfer. We no longer need to wait passively for others or circumstances to change for us. And we are on our way to master the art of self-leadership.
What is one small step you can take to create changes in your life? Take actions now. What are you waiting for?