Claudia feels a deep sense of frustration with her son Max. He is bright and happy but has a puzzling pattern of behavior. He seems to be addicted to making wrong choices on purpose. During school exams, particularly with multiple-choice questions, he often eliminates two incorrect answers first. When faced with the final two options—one correct and one incorrect—he consistently opts for the wrong one, as if under a spell. Claudia struggled to understand Max’s odd behavior until she took a moment to reflect on her own past.
Claudia was pregnant with Max while in a short-term relationship with a man she barely knew. Newly employed in a different city, unmarried and without a supporting system, she decided to have an abortion. However, during her hospital visit, she accidentally went to the wrong floor. Instead of meeting with an abortion specialist, she encountered a pediatrician. After examining her, the doctor praised the health of her baby and offered valuable advice on how to care for herself to ensure the well-being of her unborn child. This unexpected conversation changed her mind. She decided to keep the baby.
Here is the interesting part. While in his mother’s womb, Max heard and understood everything. Here is a thought planted in his subconscious mind: “The only way (for him) to survive is (for his mother) to make a choice against the initial intention (by going to the wrong floor)”. This belief influenced little max’s actions until his mother, through self-discovery, recognized the link. Only after the root cause of this pattern was seen and acknowledged, the healing process began, and the thought lost its power.
The first seven years of a child’s life are crucial, as they lay the foundation for their values, personality, and how they relate to the world. Two key factors shape this outcome: one is visible, and the other is invisible. The physical environment, including the home and neighborhood, represents the visible aspect of his upbringing. In contrast, the invisible emotional environment consists of the thoughts and beliefs of those around him. Did he grow up hearing words of affirmation and support, or was he told that nothing was achievable? Did he experience love and acceptance, or was he met with criticism and judgment? Did he often feel belittled and powerless, or did he witness examples of strength and hope? A positive thought environment allows him to thrive in a mental space filled with love, while a negative one confines him to a mental prison.
Children’s emotional responses to their experiences are transformed into memories, which are essentially thoughts, and are stored deep within their subconscious mind. Consequently, the way parents think and act plays a crucial role in molding their children’s thought processes and behaviors. While it’s common knowledge that parents transmit physical traits like hair color, height, and genetic conditions to their offspring, many overlook the fact that they also pass on mental traits—patterns of thought. This explains why children often inherit their parents’ temperaments, ambitions, talents, and overall demeanor.
Consider some striking examples. Throughout his life, Kevin claimed that he would live until the age of 70, just like his father and grandfather. Most people dismissed his comments as mere superstition. On his 70th birthday, Kevin was in excellent health, and everyone believed this vibrant and witty man could easily live another two decades. Yet, just a few months later, he unexpectedly passed away, seemingly without cause, except the power of the subconscious mind. There are numerous instances where suicidal tendencies appear to be inherited, or where the manner of death becomes a family pattern. For example, one man died in an accident, and so did his grandfather, father, two uncles, and one brother, each in different accidents.
When children inherit healthy and constructive thought patterns, they are fortunate. They can channel their energy into creating the lives they envision. Conversely, if they receive a legacy of negative or harmful mental patterns, they may find themselves grappling with the repercussions throughout their lives. Many people associate genetic disorders solely with physical traits, but they are also deeply intertwined with mental inheritance. A significant number of human ailments stem from emotional and thought patterns. This explains why, even when conditions like cancer are managed with modern treatments, a failure to shift one’s mindset and lifestyle can lead to a recurrence of the illness.
Thoughts, whether uplifting or detrimental, can be transmitted from parents to children, and even to grandchildren and great-grandchildren, spanning up to eight generations. Everybody comes to this world with a history; we all carry subconscious beliefs passed down from our parents and ancestors. These beliefs have been modified by their experiences, including trauma and conflict, and they, in turn, pass them on. While we can appreciate the positive influences, we shouldn’t hold the previous generations accountable for the negative ones, as they often lacked awareness themselves.
As adults, we have the opportunity to embrace responsibility and embark on a journey of inner cleansing as a vital part of our self-development. This transformative inner work, often referred to as shadow work or healing, involves releasing outdated beliefs and limiting thoughts that no longer serve us. It’s about addressing the traumas that are held within our bodies and subconscious mind, allowing us to heal and to grow. This journey not only liberates us but also enhances our overall quality of life. It can lead to significant improvements in our health, relationships, and financial well-being. It gives us self-confidence, enegy to take actions and ability to make wise choices. Moreover, as we break free from negative patterns, we positively impact our entire family lineage—benefiting both our ancestors and future generations. Our children will experience greater emotional freedom as a direct result of our inner work.
In Transforming Fear (3/4), we will explore the process of shadow work.