Fear is the umbrella term for a wide range of unpleasant human emotions. Anxiety, shame, anger, doubt, attachment, greed, lack and low self-esteem all stem from fear. While fear can serve a purpose in certain situations, it often leads to self-sabotage. Decisions made in a state of fear can be misguided. When we are fearful, we may react with aggression, defensiveness, close-mindedness, or a sense of powerlessness. In contrast, love fosters calmness, curiosity, confidence, hope, and an openness to new possibilities. Sadly, many people find themselves in a constant state of fear, but it doesn’t have to be this way. This article will explore the underlying causes of fear. By understanding these causes and committing to consistent practice, we can take control of our minds rather than allowing fear to dictate our actions.
There is a wealth of resources available online discussing ways to conquer fear. Some suggest that we should confront fear head-on, which requires a level of willpower that can be limited for many. Others provide practical tools and techniques. However, focusing solely on these tools without addressing the underlying cause is akin to trimming weeds without uprooting them.
What are the causes of fear?
Many people have heard of the statement – thoughts create reality. Yet, few truly grasp the immense power behind this concept. Thoughts can be the roots for remarkable achievements or lead to utter chaos. In any given moment, we have the choice to experience heaven or hell, depending on the choice – positive or negative thoughts. Fear, in particular, arises from those negative or self-sabotaging thoughts. The quality of our lives is the result of cumulative thoughts we choose. By consciously choosing our thoughts, we can take control of our minds and shape our our destiny.
“Isn’t fear just an emotion?” some might wonder. Indeed, it is an emotion but triggered by thoughts, including memories. All emotions stem from thoughts. However, not every thought originates from our conscious mind. We will elaborate this later. Once we understanding the connection between emotions and thoughts, we can manage our feelings as if having a remote control in our hands. Consider the scenario of a student who achieves a score of 95% on an exam. While many would celebrate this accomplishment, some might fixate on the 5% they missed. They might think, “If only I had been more careful, I could have achieved a perfect score.” This line of thinking often leads to harsh self-criticism, followed by the damaging belief of “I am not good enough.” If this negative self-talk becomes habitual, it can solidify into an automatic response, ultimately shaping one’s self-identity. Embracing the identity of “I am not good enough” can manifest as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Now, consider the possibility that the 5% shortfall could lead to missed opportunities. While that’s a valid concern, ask yourself: will self-criticizing change the exam score to 100%? Unlikely. We cannot alter the past, but we have countless chances to shape our future. The real question is where we choose to direct our energy? Toward an unchangeable past or a future that is up to us to create? More energy invested in pointless rumination means less energy is left to create the future we desire. Similarly, energy directed toward blaming external factors rather than reflecting on lessons learned and ways to improve is energy wasted.
How we feel in most situations is not caused by the situation itself, but how we respond to it. In nearly every scenario, there are those who maintain an optimistic outlook and find the silver lining, while others focus on flaws even in perfection. What drives these unhealthy or negative thought patterns? It often begins with our environment and is reinforced by an untrained mind. From the moment we are born, our thought processes are influenced by our surroundings—parents, teachers, peers, and authority figures. As we grow, our minds continue to be shaped by past experiences and the beliefs we adopt, including misinformation we encounter online.
Every human being has two minds: a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. Approximately 5% of human thoughts are active in the conscious mind and a staggering 95% reside in the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is responsible for making deliberate choices, whereas the subconscious mind operates on autopilot, responding to situations based on pre-existing programming. For instance, when you engage in a conversation with a friend while driving, your conscious mind focuses on the conversation, while your subconscious mind takes charge of the driving, especially on familiar routes that don’t require much thought. However, if unexpected events occur on the road, your reaction may be delayed because your conscious mind is occupied with the conversation.
Pre-programmed subconscious mind can be incredibly useful in life. Tasks like brushing teeth, holding a coffee cup, and getting dressed require little effort from us, but can be quite challenging for a small child. Generally, activities that lie outside of our comfort zone demand more conscious effort. Using the subconscious mind is a great way to conserve energy. The drawback is many of the thoughts, beliefs or patterns stored in the subconscious mind no longer serve us. They can be limiting, outdated or even harmful, draining our energy in the process.
Consider a childhood incident where you accidentally broke a valuable vase. Your mother reacted with anger and punished you by preventing you from visiting your grandmother that weekend, an event you had anticipated with great excitement. This experience may have led to the belief that “making a mistake results in punishment,” which then gets ingrained in your subconscious. As a result, every time you make a mistake, your body cringes with fear. This pattern persists throughout your life, often without you realizing that you are no longer that powerless child. Ultimately, it is your choice whether to visit your grandmother or engage in activities that bring you joy. You are the sole authority in your life. If you happen to break a vase, you have the power to replace it. When you make mistakes, it’s your responsibility to correct them. There is no punishment, only opportunity for growth. It is up to you to reprogram your mind.
In the upcoming Transforming Fear (2/4), we will further explore the origins and contexts of those thoughts.