“Self-awareness is the beginning of all wisdom” – Aristotle
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier.” – Lao Tzu
“Yesterday I was clever and I wanted to change the world, today I’m wise and I want to change myself.” – Rumi
These wise men from different parts of the world and different eras all pointed to the same wisdom – know ourselves and master ourselves. That’s exactly what Teal Village is designed to do. Besides knowing our talents and passion, it is also valuable to know our limitations. As human being, we are always work in progress. It is inevitable for us to behave unconsciously and engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. Here is a list of common behavioral patterns that are likely to hold us back:
- Being self-rightrous – believe that what we already know is absolutely right and we hold the ultimate truth. In reality, what we think we know is usually a small fraction of the big picture, especially when it comes to matters related to other people or topics out of our area of expertise. A better approach is to be curious and be humble.
- Fear of missing out – want to be everywhere but not present anywhere. The result is that both our yes and no have little meaning. It is in our best interest to raise the standard and cultivate the qualities of being intentional, selective, focused and committed.
- Rush to the result – eager to achieve and seek visible result instead of enjoying the process. Going for quantity instead of depth. Focusing on short-term benefit at the expense of the long-term benefit. The truth is, we are all heading to the graves, the only distinction is what we experience before we get there. What really matters are the people and the task in front of us here and now.
- Perpetually busy – we focus on fighting fires instead of addressing the root cause. We overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year with consistent effort. What if creating space and quiet moments for self-reflection can connect us with wisdom, which allows us to achieve the same result with a small fraction of effort and time?
- Compartmentalize thinking – separate life, work, personal development, services to society as separate and competing priorities. In reality, they are just different expressions of WHO we are in different circumstances.
- Only believe what we see – make decisions based on what we see or what we already know. Remember that what we see is the result of past actions, which doesn’t predict the future. The infinite possibilities not yet visible to us are waiting for us to manifest. We must believe the possibility first, then take actions to turn it into reality.
- Hoard knowledge – eager to download, transfer or intellectualize information, but don’t digest, understand or apply it. We believe that another book or another expert has the answer to rescue us. We hold on to the mentality learned from school years – whoever has the most knowledge gets the best grades. In life, it is whoever can create and offer values becomes the winner.
- Wait for instructions or roadmaps – look for rules or the correct answers. Stay passive and give power away, as if others are supposed to have the authority or knowledge to make better decisions for us. Nobody knows what we need and what’s best for us. We have to discover them ourselves. Be proactive, experiment, and ask for support.
- Let fear or scarcity define us – fear of making mistakes, fear to interact with strangers (keep in mind, a stranger is simply a friend you haven’t met yet), fear of stepping into the unknown, or always respond to new challenges with “I don’t have”, “I can’t”, “I’m not good enough”. We are not here to showcase perfection, but to experience life. As long as we don’t harm others, make as many mistakes as possible. What others think (negatively) about us is none of our business.
- Take things personally – take ourselves too seriously or think we are far more important in other people’s mind than we actually are. Most of the time, what other people say or do is simply an expression of their own truth. It is not about us. Our over-sensitivity is a waste of emotional energy. When in doubt, ask for clarifications. Don’t make assumptions.
- Passive aggressiveness – expressed interest or made commitment, then find it difficult to keep it. Instead of quickly look for alternatives, we simply become non-communicative, totally unaware of our negative impact and how it drains other people’s energy. It is similar to burying heads in the sand, only making a fool out of ourselves.
- Have a sense of entitlement – going into relationships or places with a “what can I get?” attitude instead of “what can I give?” or “how can we create win-win outcome?” attitude. While many of us like to consider ourselves kind and conscious, how often do we wish to get something for free or overlook the efforts required to provide the products or services we enjoy?
- Justify or seek excuses – there are 2 reasons we don’t do what we intended to do – an external reason beyond our control or internal reason within our control. If it is external, there is no need to justify it. If it is internal, finding excuses is a waste of time for everyone involved. The better way to respond the situation is to take accountability, find solutions and solve the problem.
These unconscious behaviors can decrease instead of increasing our overall level of consciousness. It is possible that none of these patterns apply to you. If so, congratulations! If not, it is not a reason for self-blame, but take this opportunity to reflect and to show up differently.
